Crossroads

Photo by Vladislav Babienko on Unsplash

Today, I find myself at a crossroads… a crossroads I hoped I would never find myself standing at after all these years but sadly I have no choice.

A crossroads that is basically history repeating itself.

On this day, I wonder whether or not staying in my beloved country is the best for my family.

A country where politicians are corrupt to a level that is undeniable and steal the people’s money without any shame or remorse.

But a country where my family, friends, and those I cherish so dearly live.

Ironically, I feel as though I am my parents some twenty odd years ago trying to figure out what is best for their family because this country is not doing enough anymore.

Flashback to 1999:

My parents Karen and Tony had two kids in private school since public schools are not up to par and very mishandled.

Tony had an inconsistent job and didn’t always get paid whether on time or ever.

Karen had a part time job during the day at the school her children were in, which granted her a small discount on the tuition, and did handmade work and sold it in the evening.

Let’s just say, they were struggling.

The government gave no support to its people so my parents decided to immigrate since jobs were on an all-time low and they couldn’t afford the cost of living with their kids.

They uprooted us and immigrated to another country where we ended up spending the next 12 years. During those years, my parents always made it clear how great our home country was but they just wanted a clearer future for us.

12 years later, we all decide to give this country a try and move back.

I met my husband as soon as I arrived and stayed for this particular reason.

His life was here and I couldn’t imagine uprooting his whole life to live where I grew up, so I thought since everything seems to be working in some weird way in this country, I am going to stay, and raise my family here.

Flash-forward in time 7 more years:

Here I am sitting on my computer at Lord knows what time in the early morning, wondering whether or not living in this country with the way it is, is going to be the best life for my children.

I am looking at the same thing my parents were looking at.

People can’t afford schools for their kids since they somehow keep getting more and more expensive.

Public schools are disgusting and anyone who can afford even the smallest bit wouldn’t dare to place their children in those schools.

People are unemployed to a level that is unreal.

30% of the population is under the poverty level and are dying of hunger.

People cannot afford the cost of living and are so desperate to try and enjoy whatever part of life that they can that by the middle of their month they are out of money.

We complain of how this country isn’t working.

We live in one of the highest polluted countries and yet do nothing to change it.

People drive like maniacs because the laws that exist are ignored and no consequences follow.

Everyone keeps leaving.

Our friends have left one by one in the past 4 years because they see no future and have no future. Every year I cry and wish for this country to get better so that it would somehow give them all reason to come back.

The best part, sense the sarcasm, is that the same politicians that were in office twenty years ago are still in office today and if it’s not them then it’s their son or grandson.

I am in awe of how these people still get put in office and then read how many supporters they all have that are blinded by their support that they forget that this country is going down in flames.

It is clear that these politicians have super glued their butts on the chairs they sit in. Their power and greed would never allow them to leave their places.

So, what keeps me here?

People have been revolting for twenty-eight days and yet the government does nothing, they sit and watch their people through their television screens and laugh because they are so comfortable that they don’t need to work nor need to have anything happen to survive.

I am in awe of how I am back to where my parents were.

I am shocked that the day I never thought would come is here right now making me question everything I stand for.

I look at my daughter and all I want is to protect her and give her the best and to be honest I don’t see that here anymore.

I used to dream of the life my husband and I would create for her and our future kids but all of that has disappeared in the blink of an eye.

It is a sad day for me today that I have lost faith not only in my country but in many of its people, not all of them because many of the rest are really trying to make it better and fight for what we all dream about for our home.

But do I stick around in this miserable time of stress and agony and wait it out?

Maybe I am not strong enough to do so, or maybe because I have somehow a way out, I am ready to take it until things get better.

I know I am writing all kinds of thoughts here but I have a feeling many parents out there are in a way feeling the same way I am.

This uncertainty gets your insides all jumbled up to the point of no return.

I pray every day that a miracle will come about and save my home, that somehow these politicians disappear and we get to make the best of what this country has to offer.

I pray that my children will get to see this country in a better view point that we ever did.

And I truly pray that we all get to somehow come back here and call this place our true home.

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