Enough is Enough
There’s one thing that has always irritated me as a person, and that is when people gossip, and talk about matters that don’t involve them.
Unfortunately, I moved to a country where people just can’t stop talking.
I’m the kind of person that doesn’t exactly give my opinion or advice unless a person asks for it, so when I started getting criticized and given advice on stuff without wanting it, I was quite shocked.
You may think I’m overreacting but I’m a pretty independent person that likes to learn from her mistakes and apparently the Lebanese community doesn’t exactly allow you to do so.
Now, around here and maybe other places around the world, not only will people talk about your wedding and how they would have done it differently, but you will also get the on-going criticism of how you should be a better wife and how there are certain rules and regulations you have to follow, how to cook better, look better, basically do everything better than you are already.
To be honest, I couldn’t have cared any less when it came to that stuff but what got to me was the incessant talk after my daughter was born.
All I ever wanted was to be a good mom and to do my absolute best.
Now whether or not everyone around me agrees with the efforts I am putting in, well that’s a totally different ball game.
Every step I took was criticized and scrutinized, to be honest I wasn’t used to that sort of thing.
When I lived in the States basically every person did their own thing and people didn’t interfere unless they were asked.
I heard talk about the way I fed, bathed, dressed, disciplined my daughter and so on, nothing was left unsaid.
Even random strangers couldn’t keep their opinions to themselves.
For example:
“Oh no! why did you take your baby out she’s so young?!”
“Put a hat on her head its cold out!”
“Why are her hands covered? The baby needs to discover her body!”
“Why are you not breastfeeding?! You are depriving your baby of immunity and nutrients!”
“Don’t let your baby play with these toys she can choke on them!”
“Why is your baby crying? Go pick her up and see whats going on! Maybe she is hungry or sleepy … Why wont she stop crying?”
As if I needed more things to stress about — but wait there’s more!
“You didn’t serve the celebratory desert in the silver bowls! That is unacceptable people will think that you are cheap!”
Apparently, in Lebanon when people come to congratulate you for the birth of your child, the food you serve them and what you serve it on is more important.
At first I got really depressed, which shouldn’t be a shock anyone would have.
Being a first time mom, it made me feel like I was doing a terrible job.
I wanted to trust my instincts and do what I felt was best for Melody, but unfortunately I wasn’t given the room to do so.
It takes a lot of guts to stand up and say something, which in my head thats all I wanted to do.
My husband kept telling me if something is bothering you say so or else people will think that you don’t mind.
But I couldn’t…for some reason I felt like I was going to hurt their feelings if I said something.
But then I just couldn’t take it anymore…
It was way too much and I said ENOUGH!
There is nothing wrong with standing up for yourself and the decisions you are making. I may have my opinions on how you may be doing something wrong but it’s not my business to tell you anything, unless you ask.
If you are like me and are feeling this kind of pressure trust me when I say this….
Say something!
Don’t let your heart get in the way.
People may get sad when you stand up to them but they will eventually get over it and understand, and if they don’t good riddance, there shouldn’t be room for toxicity when raising children in this age.
Once all of that stops you will feel like a huge amount of weight has been lifted off of your shoulders.
There is no such thing as the perfect parents.
If you think that perfect parents exist then I am telling you that it truly doesn’t.
Social media, Hollywood and books have made it seem otherwise but I promise you it is all an illusion.
I know for a fact that I am going to be making a whole lot of mistakes along the way, but I will never learn unless I try and fail.
I am a firm believer that it is the best way to learn and become a better parent.
I love my daughter and I know that I will do my best to make sure she has an amazing life and a great and safe childhood.
Mama Sugar, Out!
